*Adapting to Love*: Self Love

As provocative as the title may suggest, it is merely my second poem to my wildfire princess. She told me two things that affected me more than I would ever wanted to admit.

She gave us up because she thought she couldn't have me, although I have given her everything. She has stop thinking about us and is seeing someone new. It hurts although it shouldn't and it was because I had hope.

I know now that there is no road to go back to. I realised that I cannot be your friend, because you are happy now. I could have been your friend if you were suffering, but now it is only me who is suffering.

It all started with a poem, so I believe it's only poetic justice to end it with a poem...

My Secret Hope

I have a little secret that no one knows,
Buried deep beneath my soul.
Anger, regret, disappointment and tears,
Things that you see, it is all a show.

I have a little secret that I didn’t know,
Buried deep beneath my thinking mind.
Why can’t I share this little secret of mine,
Scared to be called weak, afraid of what I will find.

Now I have to tell a little secret to myself,
For me to accept and for me to let go,
I think of you, I miss you, I love you, I want you back,
And most of all I hope that you feel it to.

Unfulfilled promises, a forgotten future,
They haunt me day and night,
Like a gentle breeze embracing me,
Always there, but never in sight.

Do you think about me when you’re alone?
Because I do, even when I am not.
Does it hurt you when I have someone new?
Because it hurts me when I heard the news.
Why him and not me, questions I ask,
What did I do wrong, what did I say,
Could I make it up to you, every night and day?

To you, my heart, my mind,
my everything I freely gave
And yet you left,
saying that I was not yours to have
that you could never be in love with me.

Now that I have shared my little secret,
I hope that you understand,
Why you can’t be a friend to me,
I need to heal, I need to believe,
that I am worthy to be loved.

You and I have to go own our ways
Your decision to make, my price to pay
I hope that you are happy and never be alone,
But when you are, I pray you be brave and ask for me,
I promise you then I will be a friend to you,
Till your tears dry and you give me a smile.

Now that I have shared my little secret,
Do not hate me or forget me,
Now that I have shared my little secret,
I can let go and let things be,
Now that I have shared my little secret,
It is no more a secret and I can be set free.