*Adapting to Love*: Valentine's Day

Another memorable date for me to remember. This date needs no mention as everyone knows when it is, the day where commericalism rules for those in relationship and the day where hopefuls can express their feelings without fear of rejection.

She called me about 2 am. Was asleep so not really aware. However, what was clear was the distance and lack of warmth or happiness in her voice. "Happy Valentine's Day", I wished her. "Same to you", she replied sounding distance. To cut a long story short, I asked her what's wrong and she said this might not be the best day to tell me, but I forced it out of here anyway. She said that she was growing distant from me. I asked if she is sure as I cannot take the off/on, cold/hot thing anymore, and she said yes. I told her if she knew that it was a matter of time before I found my way to Dubai, she said yes.

So I guess that was all left to said. I wished her a good life and said goodbye. Am I sad? Obviously. Am I devastated? Definitely. Am I heartbroken? Undoubtably.

But I have learnt to take a more philopshical approach to life. I do love her and given the same choices of letting her to go Dubai and losing her, I would do it all over again, because that is what she wanted. She could have developed her career here, but she did not see it that way, so it was her choice and all I could do is support her.

I have done all I could to make her understand that I love her, but that is not enough. It is fine with me as this is me, and this is all I can do. I do not hate her, but I am dissapointed that her faith and love for me was not strong enough to survive the temporary seperation. Not dissapointed in her, but perhaps at myself. My love for her never waivered and I never doubted my feelings for her, because she is someone special and worth all that I have done and I have no regrets. Unfortunately she did not feel the same about me.

Of course she being her stubborn self did not want to explain her actions or tell me what she really wanted by saying "I don't know". Well, unfortunately, she did not want me to help find out her answers together and that is a journey that she has to take alone or with someone else there.

To my Wildfire Princess, beneath all your imperfections, all your fears, all your doubts lies a perfect heart. But from today onwards, you will have to discover your true self without me, because you are no longer my Wildfire Princess anymore, and it was your decision to make it so.

This is not a bitter posting but something that needs to be done for my ownself. You made me happy but that is no longer an option for me.

Happy Valentine Day.